nash

HOSTAGE NEGOTIATOR [climbing out of the SWAT van & putting on sunglasses]: okay, what've we got?
SERGEANT: bank robbery gone wrong. white male, ball cap. he's got something like 20 to 30 hostages in there.
NEGOTIATOR: what's he carrying? gun? bomb?
SERGEANT: it's one of those bluetooth speakers. says he'll play "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's if anybody tries anything
NEGOTIATOR: jesus christ

which is the best musical instrument?

lifting up the lid on my car's center console and unscrewing the valve on the tank of NAS hidden inside, slamming on the gas as the stereo starts blasting tunes from my local music library

sega project lead: okay folks, just got word from up top that our next game character is gonna be a hedgehog. so what is a hedgehog's primary asset, in an action setting?

somebody: it's gotta be speed, right? super speed??

everybody else: yeah, speed definitely

doing readings with the chance & community chest cards from a monopoly set

computer, fetch me the latests posts from the fedi

the consequences of my actions

is it weird that I really want to make a paint brush out of this big lock of my hair

all you really need to cut your own hair is scissors & a willingness to live with the consequences of your actions

my high school self 🤝 me today
"I just really want a PDA"

look at her

(cw cat photo)

SCULLY: Mulder, you can't possibly believe a shrimp fried this rice
MULDER: That's what it says on the menu, Scully

holding the website down with my foot & pointing my sword at them as I check this box: